Monday, September 26, 2011

Crazy Crap #272: The part where I provide a Puzzlebutt teaser

For the last year or so, I've been working on a novel. It's about a minor figure from English literary history, who has been dubbed by the code name "Mistress Puzzlebutt" by Eamon. My neighbor Ann is concerned that Mistress Puzzlebutt has so overtaken my brain that I have fallen out of the habit of blogging. (Untrue; it was Facebook that killed Crazy Crap.) She suggested/requested that I post small teasers from said novel, since I am too lazy to both novel-write and blog. I am so lazy, I will take her up on that suggestion/request.

And so, I present: "Mistress Puzzlebutt meets Queen Elizabeth"

If I was unnerved to be ushered so unceremoniously into the royal presence, I was distracted too by the appearance of the queen herself. I had not the nerve to meet her gaze when she entered our gates, and had seen her only from afar before, in ceremonial processions and the progresses she had so frequently made amongst the people. In the great houses I had visited, her image was everywhere, emblazoned in vivid portraits. I knew well her coppery red hair, her alabaster skin, her sharp eye, and superior mien. I had not yet reckoned with the reality of her person. At sixty-four years, she was no longer the Tudor rose of her youth. Her skin was now sagging and lined as crepe, showing spots and discolorations that even a thick plastering of white lead could not conceal. (The queen could not resist cosmetics, and wore them more thickly than any boy player in a scenario. It was a far cry from the artful and sparing application I had received from Mary Fitton.) When she smiled, her teeth were black—a legacy, it was said, of her great love of sweets. They were set off by the bright red tint she had applied to her lips, which made her mouth a crimson slash on the disc of her face. Her red hair was false, I noted, as wisps of white escaped the confines of the netting. She had small black eyes, which in their liveliness belied the edifice of age surrounding them. Her manner with her courtiers was flirtatious, as she alternately batted those lively eyes and coyly rolled them, using her fan to draw attention to her breast, which was exposed low in the manner of unmarried ladies.

Consider yourself teased.

Crazy Crap#271: The part concerning art

A couple of weeks ago, I came home to discover James Casey (just turning 7 years old) on my front boulevard struggling with some boards and a length of string he had tied to my tree. I asked him what was going on, and he told me, “I was going to climb this tree, but then I decided to do something impressive instead.”

I looked at what he was compiling, and asked if it was art, or did it do something. He replied, “Both. It’s art, but art makes people happy, so that’s the thing it does.”

I noted that his construction would be greatly aided by some rubber bands, and would he like some rubber bands? His face took on a glow of unexpected joy, so I took that as a yes and went to find my tin of rubber bands.

I showed him how to wrap the bands several times, and use the power of basic geometry and physics to keep the thing standing. He was quite pleased with our work. Our neighbor Kevin offered to commemorate the new structure, which James dubbed “The Norwood Thingy” with a photo.

James designed not only the structure, but also came up with his pose in the photo. He’s quite the artist and public figure.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Crazy Crap #270: The part where James sums it up

Sometimes, a Facebook post needs a more permanent home. This comes from Ann, about James, now age 6 1/2:
I'm going to try to live my life more like James. He told me this morning, "today is going to be my best day ever, just like yesterday was." When I asked him why it would be his best day ever he said, "because I'm going to do EVERYTHING!"