Crazy Crap Item #209: The part where Sailor Jack cracks wise

In a recent email, my father updated me on the latest in his California homefront:

Today, rain, snow, (SNOW!) 32 deg. temp., and 15 MPH wind. Throw in a crooked governor and we'd have Chicago.

Love to both,

^^^^ SJ ^^^^

Crazy Crap Item #208: The part where I marvel at the gall

Okay, so, as many will recall, I just spent the worst summer and fall ever, which included six weeks of physical therapy for mis-diagnosed and mis-treated TMJ syndrome.

Last week, we finally got the bill.

Today, I got a call from her billing service to "remind you of your balance."

I'm like, yeah, we got the bill A WEEK AGO.

So I guess they're not so good about diagnosing and fixing ailments, but really good at demanding payment.

Crazy Crap Item #207: The part where Piatt and Eamon quip

Last Friday night, Eamon and I found ourselves at the Bong Ho, our favorite local Korean karaoke dive bar. Shiow, a long-time friend of young Roxi and the original source of knowledge about this oasis of off-key singing, was planning a birthday celebration behind the mic. So how could we not go?

Though he doesn't know Shiow, I invited our good friend, Mr. Christopher Piatt, theater editor extraordinaire and all-around man-about-town. He has taken up the mic at the Bong before (his "Mac the Knife" always brings down the house), and knows well the allure of this stinkiest of nightspots. (Yes, that is pee you smell. Pee and Raid ant spray.)

After reviewing two shows and enduring a commute that involved no fewer than three CTA buses, he arrived at midnight, just as I was preparing to leave. So, of course, my plans changed.

He'd missed my dazzling rendition of Billie Holiday's "Come Rain or Come Shine" and my signature show-stopper "Cabaret" (a la Liza), but he was lucky enough to catch my eerie evocation of Leslie Gore ("It's My Party) and Petula Clark ("Downtown").

Finally, as I finished a gut-wrenching "Hopelessly Devoted to You" (Olivia Newton John, Grease), he turned to Eamon.

Piatt: How does it feel to be married to a gay icon.
Eamon: In some circles, I'm considered a gay icon.

And ... scene.

Crazy Crap Item #206: The part where my father taunts me

I just received this email from my father:

DBK [Doctor Baby Kay],

Your governor is corrupter than our governor. (to the tune of Nya-Nya)

^^^^ SJ ^^^^ [Sailor Jack]

Crazy Crap Item #205: The part where Roxi weighs in on a proposed charitable act

I have not cut my hair for a year. Last holiday season, I decided, in a fit of tipsy philanthropy, that since my hair was just sitting there, doing nothing, I should harvest it for Locks of Love, an organization which supplies wigs for kids who, due to medical reasons, can't grow their own hair.

I've had long hair in the past. It's been straggly, thin. In a word: unfortunate. So I was not looking forward to this.

But lo and behold, it's grown out rather nicely, lovely layers and all. Which led young Roxi to say to me, just last night:

"Screw the kids with cancer. You look great with long hair."

God bless us, every one.