Today, my morning started with a very unusual freelance ad:
I am the co founder of a tea company based here in Boston. We are looking for haikus to add to our packaging. Ideally, the haikus should be witty. We need haikus for the following three themes. Friendship Thank You and Happy Birthday. Please note; Bag Ladies Tea is a gourmet tea line designed specifically for women. We will pay $75.00 for every haiku we use and the chance to be published on a nationally known tea product! All users will be notified by Friday August 25th. Good Luck!
It's a little known fact, but my friends and I have been known to engage in what I like to call competitive poetics. Our weapon of choice: Haiku. So clearly, the gauntlet had to be thrown down. Thrown down it was:
Reading my tea leaves
I see a future of pain
You ungrateful bitch
- Eamon Daly
So, you’re drinking tea.
Why not just give it up now,
And adopt some cats.
- Kay Daly
try to remember
what it was like before
you drank tea alone
- Kristen Freilich
Charming epitaphs
Printed on a tiny tea
Get a frickin' life.
- Chris Czajka
Drink up, moon mother
Sip the sweet mystery here
And take a Quaalude.
- Chris Czajka
I would like to know
Just who it was who told you
Tea’s a chick magnet.
- Kay Daly
One cup of tea and
One pot of scalding water
For that bastard's nuts.
- Eamon Daly
Tea’s not addictive
So pour me another round.
Must … not … light one up…
- Kay Daly
spend your cash on tea
instead of birth control pills
since you won't need them
- Kristen Freilich
Enticing package
Promises vanilla mint
Tastes like shit to me
- Kay Daly
Hey! Watch what you say!
I'm a woman that drinks tea.
Oh ... I'm still single.
- Roxana Hadad
Pour boiling water
Over tea bag in a cup.
Really? Instructions?
- Kay Daly
airport madness here
what could ease this damn drama
tea with whiskey please
- Nicole Hudson
tea is for pussies
drink a beer and be a man
you english bastard
- Cameron Hollway
Too busy Monday
Tea for you and not for me
Sad times for Shatty
- Michael Shattner
Try your own!
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