Crazy Crap Item #62: The part where I am once again mistaken for a bleach-blond rightie

So today, after long delay, I have opened my mail. Mind you, I generally attend to bills, paychecks, and anything that looks interesting immediately. It’s all the rest of the crap that goes into the ‘I’ll see to that later’ pile.

Included in this pile was an envelope with the return address of “Vision America.” Naturally, I assumed it was some sort of two-for-one eyeglass deal, and since I am as blind as the day is long, I filed it away to squint at later.

Later is today, and what do I discover but that “Vision America” is no such LensCrafter knock-off, but instead an organization bearing the tagline “Restoring the Original American Vision”!

First off, speaking as the writer of many a tagline, I must say, this is simply shoddy copywriting. The first rule of tagline writing is that you don’t have many words, so you make every one count. And, I think it can safely be said that REPEATING EVERY WORD OF THE NAME OF THE ORGANIZATION WITHIN THE TAGLINE is not good use of copywriting real-estate.

But honestly, upon opening the letter, that was not the first thing I noticed. It was the following phrases within in the letter which really caught my eye:

“Christianity is under assault in America”
“War on Christians and Values Conference”

Hmm, thought I. This may not be an eyeglass brochure after all.

A glance at the organization’s board of directors confirmed this notion. Last time I checked, Jerry Falwell is not an optometrist.

And here, dear friends, is the letter in toto:
Dear Kay,

Thank you for investing your time and gifts in advancing our message that Christianity is under assault in America, at our recent “War on Christians and Values Voters Conference.” I know that among your most precious possessions are your time and reputation, and last week you contributed both to the work of Vision America. I am grateful beyond measure and offer mine to any causes you advance in return.

My wife and I were in a hotel room late Friday night in Houston, where I spoke over the weekend. We were channel surfing and we saw Bill Maher in front of a picture of Omni Shoreham. That caused us to pause for a moment, and sure enough, he was ridiculing our conference. In the course of his remarks, he ended with a passionate plea for some true persecution of folks like you and me. We turned it off and praised God that we were worthy of being hated by the likes of Bill Maher. Maher, while denying and ridiculing the assertion that Christianity is under attack, was attacking Christianity.

We who love this country and understand the real nature of the culture war have much to do. I am thankful for the privilege of standing in your shadow and find joy in praying for your continuing success. When the CD’s are completed we will send you a copy of your presentation. If you would like a whole set, let us know.

For many of you, there is no mystery in this missive. I’ve long since established the existence of my alter ego. Once again I have been mistaken for a bleach-blond Coulter in training. Sad, but apparently unavoidable.

There's nothing so totally remarkable about the missive -- except that "Vision America" seems to invite guests to speak without collecting accurate contact information, which strikes me as sloppy, at the very least.

Mayhap I should add a tagline of my own to my professional website:

"Not that Kay Daly, I'm the sane one"