Crazy Crap Item #17: The part where it becomes clear why some people need to cheat

So as I'm waiting on hold (checking to see if our new health insurance policy is active), I decide to check out Craigslist, my favorite place for finding writing gigs. And what should I come across but an ad with an appealingly desperate title: "Writing Help!!"

I'm far too seasoned a pro to think any such ad is worth responding to. To the experienced eye, this ad really says, "I'm not a legitimate employer, and will offer you peanuts which I will then neglect to pay." But, still, one must read such ads. And it says:

Reply to: mailto:lani4678@aol.com?subject=Writing%20Help%21%21%20Date: 2005-11-28, 10:38AM CSTI have a deadline in 3 weeks for 4 college 10 page papers. I have to graduate.And I cant write all four in that time. Can you help for a reasonable price? Im willing to pay 45 dollars for each paper. Ok, one is a 5-7 page paper about beowulf. One is a 8 page paper about measure for measure research(Shakespeare). One is 10 pages about Shaw. Another one about Milton. Im really interested in having the shakespeare paper done. I can do the rest. Shakespeare ASAP!! If I can knock one out the way I think I can do the rest pretty strong. So, I have written 7 pages of the shakespeare research but I wrote it a while ago and i didn't write the work cited pages. So since I've written the shakespeare i'd pay $35. But the quotes are in their. i just need it to get a low A. Can you help? My number 404-751-8986 Lanita
Compensation: negotiable
This is a contract job.
no -- Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
no -- Please, no phone calls about this job!
no -- Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
no -- Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.

Naturally, I'm repelled at the idea of plagiarism for pay. But what amuses me more is that this dimwit puts her ACTUAL EMAIL ADDRESS, PHONE NUMBER AND FIRST NAME. I'm still on hold, so I think, let's see if I can find out who this person is. So I google her email address. The first link I check gives me her full name, which is unusual enough to warrant another google search. Within a few clicks, I know her home town AND the school she attends.

And because I'm now off hold and need to get back to work, I'll probably not give into the temptation to point her current college dean to her ad. But, oh, it would be just.